


A DILF Vs Fire Hoes

by JustSmileStuffHappens (ksz13)



Category: 9-1-1 (TV), 911 - Fandom
Genre: Blogging, Crack, Feelings, Gen, Secrets, Social Media
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-12-31 20:21:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21151646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksz13/pseuds/JustSmileStuffHappens
Summary: He couldn’t believe it. Buck was looking at the blog someone had mentioned while on a call saying he had been dethroned. What!?He wasn’t jealous. Honestly. He was past that. Sure Eddie was hot but he wasn’t just that.





	A DILF Vs Fire Hoes

**Author's Note:**

> On a side note. Forgive me okay I'm probably rusty as all F and this was just a ficlet I pushed out on Tumblr ok.
> 
> Like I know it's not piping hot but sometimes you just want an entertaining story to laugh at that won't emotionally devastate you. Ya know.

**A DILF vs Fire Hoes**

He couldn’t believe it. Buck was looking at the blog someone had mentioned while on a call saying he had been dethroned. What!?

He wasn’t jealous. Honestly. He was past that. Sure Eddie was hot but he wasn’t just that.

It didn’t make him feel any better about people objectifying his best friend. This was, creepy?

It was Chimney who found him.

“What ya doin Buck?”

“Nothing!” Buck replied.

“Eddie Diaz is a dilf. Hmm” Hen said behind him. When did she get there.

Buck quickly shut the laptop. Fuck! He hoped he didn’t break it.

“Whoa buckaroo easy there man” Chimney hissed.

“It’s stupid” it was.

“Well they may be right but maybe they shouldn’t say it.” Hen said while taking a sip. “What I’m not blind. But this DILF and MILF shit is kind of disrespectful to me.” She said to Chimney’s look.

“Exactly.” Buck said while going to put his laptop up.

But why did his stomach still feel weird.

-

They were back from a call, in the truck, when Chimney told Eddie. Or well he tried to.

“So you see that thing?”

“What thing?”

“Buck didn’t tell you?”

Way to throw me under the bus Chim. Buck thought.

“There was an article on people who know multiple languages having stronger mental dexterity or something. Made me think of you” Buck said earning silence.

“Umm. Thanks?”

Buck could punch Chimney if he wasn’t his friend and Maddie wouldn’t kick his ass. And well if he did that kind of thing. But seriously.

Eddie didn’t need that shit. Christopher neither. It was better not knowing.

-

“I reported you” Buck heard as Hen sat next to him.

“What?!” He’s innocent.

“I reported it. The blog, the other day. Well more sent a request for them to take that down. Mentioned the possibility for a kid seeing that stuff and maybe a lawyer looking into things like posting pictures or the location of people’s houses. Half bullshit but could work.”

“Oh” Buck thought about it. Hopefully that did it.

“Hey Hen, mind if I talk to Buck about something?” Eddie said coming over with a banana, a plantain?

“No, sure. I was finished with him, he’s all yours” Hen smiled while going downstairs.

“So. Reading articles that remind you of me. That a regular thing?” He said before taking a bite.

“What? No. I mean. I don’t read them because they remind me of you, I just hap-”

Wait. Not everything reminded him of Eddie right? Why’d he say that?

“Earth to Buck. You okay dude?”

“It’s hard not thinking about your best friend once in a while. I think of Christopher and you” Buck shrugged.

Who was he trying to reassure again?

“That’s nice. Only good things right. I’m not pushing him on you too much? ” Eddie frowned.

“No! Being around him is great. I think, about, y'all being happy, and hope you two, don’t get hurt”

“Good to know. You can relax your brain buddy.”

“Don’t ask questions that are hard to answer then”

“Sorry. Hard to tell. I’m not exactly in your brain”

But wasn’t he? Sometimes.

-

They’re done with shift. It’d been a long week.

Eddie was suggesting Buck come over for grilling with Christopher when Bobby came in.

“Eddie can I have a word.”

“Huh? Sure Cap, something wrong?”

“You might want this to be private.” Bobby said looking at Buck.

“No. I’m okay with him hearing it, it’s Buck” he said like that answered it.

“I’m sorry. It was brought to my attention you were being harassed?” Eddie’s face shifted.

“We got it taken down after their recent action. But they’ll have an officer in the area if anyone tries something, for safety the next couple of days”

“What are you talking about?”

“The blog. I assumed you’d seen it. Chimney said you all knew”

“Bobby I don’t know anything about a blog”

Bobby looked from Eddie to Buck who was staring at his shoes.

“Buck.”

“Buck?”

“Kind of a funny story” he winced.

…

“That’s why I didn’t tell you. I didn’t want to ruin your day. And then I thought Hen talked some sense into them”

“Buck!?” Eddie was muttering curses. They may have been in Spanish but Buck and Bobby knew.

“Next time Buck just tell them. Make the time and say it” Bobby told him as Eddie was finishing getting his things ready and Bobby was out the door.

“I’m sorry Eddie. I didn’t think they’d say something like this and if I did I’d have told you to keep Christopher safe, I would”

“It’s fine Buck”

“It doesn’t feel fine. I messed up. I didn’t mean to but I did. I don’t have to come over if you’d rather not see me” Buck sighed.

“Oh you’re coming over. And you’re cooking.” Eddie said while getting to their cars.

“You really want to risk burnt food for me to make up for my mistake?”

“Guess you’ll just have to make extra sure it’s edible then huh”

-

Buck guesses things could be worse.

Eddie could hate him for a number of reasons.

Or they could have gotten catcalled by self titled fire hoes by now.

He’s outside keeping an eye on the food as inside Christopher is helping his dad set up sides and toppings for the burgers.

The music is nice as there’s a light breeze. A lady is jogging as she sees him from the street stopping to stare.

Suddenly Buck feels self conscious about having smudges on his face and arms. He doesn’t know why. It hasn’t bothered him before to be ogled at but maybe that was more of a Buck 1.5 thing.

He hears Eddie coming over as he remembers the food. Shit!

Only one patty is a little too charred but there’s still enough for the three of them.

“Getting distracted?”

“No.” He lied. “Maybe. You see her jogging before?” Buck nods toward her. She’s stretching now.

“I’m not sure. Think so, but I’m not setting you up with a pseudo neighbor”

“I didn’t mean- I thought she was one of-”

He feels Eddie’s hand on his shoulder and instantly relaxes.

“Want to call patrol? Have ‘em scare her off”

“She might not be though. I mean I’d feel bad if she wasn’t, you know”

She’s already leaving when Buck moves the burgers to a container.

“I don’t blame you. You know that right?” Eddie’s asking while Bucks checking everything’s safe and turned off.

“No. I do? Still, could have gone about it better I guess but everything’s like that isn’t it.”

“Yeah. Maybe I was a little harsh in my reaction. You didn’t mean bad by not telling me and if people had done something you didn’t make them. Plus nothing happened” Eddie said.

Buck fought not to say 'Yet’.

He felt an arm around his back in a sort of side hug.

“For the record, we think about you too.”

Huh. That came out of left field.

Eddie wasn’t meeting Bucks questioning eyes.

There was something there. Or was that just Buck.

Eddie was guiding him in turning towards the house.

“Christopher asks if I think you had a good day sometimes. You can ask him if you want” Eddie’s smiling as Christopher looks up hearing his name from the couch.

“Are you done Buck? I’m hungry and dad said we can’t have cookies until after we eat” the little guy was putting up his biggest pout.

“Yeah. Had to put some extra Buckley care into these for you guys. Hope it’s really tasty buddy” Buck winks.

“Dad says were omnivores so you don’t have to worry too much”

That earns a laugh from both of them at Christopher’s words.

The burgers are good but best while fresh so they’re devoured fairly quickly.

Christopher is finishing his first as Eddie and Buck are fighting food comas after their seconds.

“Dad what’s a DILF?”

Bucks spilling some water onto himself as Eddie’s beer is starting to foam.

“Umm. Where did you hear that?” Eddie asks.

“Is it a bad word? ”

“No buddy. It’s weird, some people don’t like it” Buck starts.

“I heard Denny’s mom say it.”

“Christopher a DILF is-”

“It’s a kind of pickle.” Buck is chiming in as Eddie is turning his head too quickly.

“She could have been saying it odd or you may have heard it different buddy. A dill is a type of pickle like we ate. Not everyone likes them but they’re not really bad”

“Okay. Can we eat cookies now?”

“Yes Christopher. Pick which you want.” Eddie is opening the assortment for him.

Bucks wiping sweat off his brow like he just diffused a bomb. Metaphorically.

“Thanks. You’re a lifesaver” Eddie whispers before Christopher is back in his seat.

That feelings back. But Buck notices this time it’s more towards his chest than his stomach.

“Any time. I’m always here if you need me”

And he means it. He really does.

“You’re the best Buck” Christopher is putting a cookie in front of him.

“What about me?”

“You’re not a Buck dad.”

“You know what? Here” Buck is breaking his cookie in two and handing it over to Eddie. “I don’t think I could handle a full one. Mind helping me?”

“Sure. Maybe he is the best” Eddie’s telling Christopher.

“I’m right here.”

“Yep. Let’s wash up and we can nap over a movie, sound good? ”

Buck isn’t arguing with that even if he wanted to.

“I wanna pick. Please.” Christopher pipes in.

“Okay. Wash your hands then start it up. We’ll clean up a bit so it’s not too bad then go to the couch”

The dishes are soaking, other trash discarded.

The three of them are currently sitting with a large blanket. Eddie’s head’s lolling as Buck is drooling.

Christopher is giggling at them as he’s tuning into his favorite parts and starting to lean.

-

“Odd how that sorted itself out huh?” Bobby says while looking at his phone.

“If you ask me it makes sense, in a weird way.” Athena says while drinking on the couch with him.

“At least maybe now they’ll leave them alone, hopefully.”

“We can hope, but for every dozen there could be one that doesn’t take this well. Some won’t like hearing Eddie’s off the market even if they’d never have a chance with him.”

“Well if something does happen he’s got us. Know what’s stranger?”

“What?”

“I can kind of see it”

“See what?”

“See them together. Or why people would think that. They’re already close, help each other,”

“Bobby they’re grown men don’t go trying to set them up”

“I might have already done that. Unintentionally”

“Well, then if they get together you’re deserve a gift basket”

“Really? ”

“I’m kidding” she laughs.

She’s looking at the photo posted to the blog.

They look cute. Eddie’s leaning into Buck.

He’s looking almost possessive to the camera.

She wonders if he thought about this. No telling.

Sorry fire hoes. Is the hottest firefighting DILF taken? Titles the page.

People today.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for anyone hoping but this is mainly pre-slash or whatever and my first venture into this fandom. That is until I finish kinktober lol. 
> 
> Okay. So those wondering about the posts. I intentionally left them more so vague. But more so the ones about Buck are centered around S1 into S2 with his publicity via the news but for Eddie it's more so after the episode with the woman's head stuck in a tailpipe I guess. There's not actual timeline though.
> 
> As per the contents of the posts. They were more so innocent but still a little upsetting to Hen and Buck for different reasons. That and giving buck not so nice thoughts about climbing Eddie like a tree or horrible puns of him putting out the fires in people's pants up until they bordered on unintentionally dangerous. With one of the last few that Chimney saw saying the poster wanted to go up to Eddie rip off his shirt and lick him all over asking who was with them. Buck hadn't looked since Hen's comment before Bobby had told them. It could be taken as a joke yes but also it showed a shot of Eddie at home with the address being identifiable if you tried hard enough to see it so they didn't want to risk it and decided to air on caution. 
> 
> Please don't ask me how the show or real life would actually go about this kind of stuff though.


End file.
